Speaking of unity, President Henry B. Eyring said:
[God] cannot grant it to us as individuals. The joy of unity He wants so much to give us is not solitary. We must seek it and qualify for it with others. . . . To the Three Nephites, the Savior promised joy in unity with Him . . . He said, 'Ye shall have fulness of joy. . . (President Henry B. Eyring, October General Conference, 2008) Our Hearts Knit as One
It is only through unity that we can experience a fulness of joy. Let's look at some of our relationship in which unity is important.
In Jesus' great Intercessory Prayer for His apostles, just prior to His death, He pled with the Father that they may be one, as [He and the Father] are one . . .Neither pray I for these alone, but for them also which shall believe on me through their word. That they all may be one, as thou, Father, art in me, and I in thee, that they also may be one in us: that the world may believe that thou hast sent me. (John 17: 11, 20-21) Each of us are included in this call for unity, for we are among those who believe on Christ through the words of prophets and apostles. Therefore, the first relationship we must nurture is the one we have with the Father, and the Son, and the Holy Spirit.
One with our eternal companion
The next relationship we should nurture is the one with our spouse. Several years ago, my bishop asked me to speak with the young married couples in the ward on this topic. Without sharing any confidential information about individuals, he said that he was seeing too many marriages where the partners were "mean to each other." It was difficult for me even to picture this because my husband was my best friend. While we had differences and moments of discord, I could not imagine my ever wanting to be "mean" to him.
A second principle to guide our progress to become one is to be humble. Pride is the great enemy of unity. C. S. Lewis taught that pride always means enmity: enmity with the other person and enmity with God.
One with our children
The same spiritual guidance and humble attitude are required for unity with our children. One thing that makes this challenging is the fact that whereas we are equal partners in a marriage, there is a different relationship with our children. We are taught that if we have children, it is incumbent upon us that we raise to be covenant keepers themselves. (See Doctrine and Covenants 68: 25) In order to do this, we may have occasion to correct them. The best single treatise on correcting in love is found in the Doctrine and Covenants, Section 141: 41-46) The Holy Ghost should guide our correction. We should reprove with clarity as soon as we see a child taking a dangerous path, but we do so when moved by the Spirit, not when prompted by our own anger. Clearly presented expectations, along with patience and forgiveness go a long way in avoiding conflicts. Be a good-finder, not a fault-finder with others, particularly our children.
One within our ward and community
First and foremost, we must see with Christ-like eyes, the child of God within everyone you meet. President Eyring taught that we should look for those things upon which we agree and build on those. Don't judge. Don't gossip. Speak well of one another. Don't criticize. Be a peacemaker. If you struggle, ask the Lord to give you that new heart that you need.
President Dieter F. Uchtdorf told the Saints that if they find themselves doing those things that build disharmony, he had a two-word sermon for them:
STOP IT! (General Conference, April 2012
One with those who differ from us
Elder Eyring said that the same principles that apply with our families and friends also apply as we seek unity with people from different backgrounds. The children of God have more in common than they have differences. . . . we can see a difference in someone else, not as a source of irritation, but as a contribution. (Eyring)
I once attended a professional conference with many people of diverse backgrounds. One of the presenters was a woman from Africa. She was petit and very pretty and very professional in her demeaner. I could not see at a glance that she had much in common with me. The first exercise she had us do was to write down a list of things that can describe us. I can't remember my list exactly but I know it included being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saint; being a single mother of four; widowed very young; went back to school after my husband's death to get a Master's degree and a Doctorate. I was a teacher and a counselor.
When we had finished, our group leader read her list. She was a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints; a single mother of four, widowed very young; went back to school after her husband's death to get advanced degrees including a Masters and a Doctorate. She was an educator and a counselor! Aside from the fact that she was born in Africa and could speak five languages fluently (I speak mostly English and understand very little French and Spanish) our lists could have been a duplicate of each other.
My Grandmother Rawlings was my mentor and best friend when I was growing up. Even though she died when I was 17, I have consciously tried to model my life after hers. She had two sisters and several friends who were a gossipy bunch, always pointing out the flaws in the person about whom they were gossiping. She would just listen, never contributing anything negative. Then at the appropriate moment (and she had incredible timing!) she would say something like this, "Well, that may be, I don't know, but I do know that she has pretty eyes."
She taught me so much. I will have lead a good life if, when I'm gone, my grandchildren and great-grandchildren can say the same about me.
© May 2020 Dr. Kathleen Rawlings
Buntin Danielson
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