GOD'S BEEN PREPARING ME- a Personal Post

Wish I still looked this young and healthy.

I don't!

This has been has been quite a year.  I'm not feeling anxious about things despite what is going on in the world.  I believe that God has it all in His hands.

In 2018, I became very ill with constant dizziness that made getting around very difficult.  That fall, things were so bad, I experienced nausea every day.  I had spells of vertigo when the bed would spin or the room would spin.  It was so disconcerting that I asked God to send my husband, Carmon, to get me. Eventually, the vertigo and nausea subsided and I have learned to deal with the dizziness. 

 One of the blessings of this trial is that it slowed me down.  I have often felt as if I were addicted to my own adrenaline. My grandmother used to say, "I cleaned the house and went to town and killed a pig, all in one day." My life was a little like that. I simply did not know how to stop and smell the roses. I felt as if the world would stop turning on its axis if I stopped rushing around, trying to save the world. With this new ailment, I couldn't rush around, go to town, or even drive and I'm certainly not killing any pigs - not even the one in my book.  My life became one of working on my blog, doing puzzles on my phone, watching TV, and reading.  I found that when things became too out of focus in the larger world, I could focus on the tiny screen of my phone to play games or visit Facebook.  

When this epidemic hit and everyone was told to stay home, my life didn't change very much.  The difference is that I have found great peace this year, even with a scary diagnosis. This trying time has humbled me and put me on a timeline that I didn't set for my self: God designed it.  I don't know what will come of it all, but whatever comes, I will be all right. I'm no longer wishing to die, but neither am I afraid of it. As I said, it is in God's hands.

I don't know what will happen in the future.  Trusting God is also trusting His timing.  I don't know what God has been preparing me for, but whatever it is, I am ready.