A Thorn in the Flesh

I have recently been rereading my older blog posts. They were well done; collected and organized and fairly clear.  My more recent blog has been, in my opinion, less well organized and clear.  I believe this to be so due to the thorn in my flesh.

The Apostle Paul wrote three letters to the early Saints in Corinth. The first one has been lost.  We have the second and third letters in our New Testament.  In the third letter, called 2 Corinthians, Paul shared some of the visions and revelations he had received and glorified God. He was concerned, however, that his fervor over the things God had shown him might be misinterpreted by the Saints to be boasting.  He declared his own human weakness in the 12th chapter when he wrote:

And lest I should be exalted above measure through the abundance of revelations, there was given to me a thorn in the flesh, the messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I should be exalted above measure. For this thing I besought the Lord thrice, that it might depart from me. And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness.  Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities that the power of Christ (vs. 7-9)

I have more than one thorn in my flesh.  In the past few years, those thorns have pricked me sorely, culminating in a complete emotional and physical breakdown.  I have been climbing out of that pit with great prayer and effort for well over a year. Like Paul, I have asked God more than once to remove these thorns and, like Paul, I have received the answer to trust that the Lord will take care of those things I, as yet, do not understand.  I can't say that I glory in tribulations (See Romans 5: 3-5) but I have come to realize that these chronic conditions have humbled me.

I am more patient.  I am more grateful for blessing.  I lost hope for a season, but find that I am now hopeful, because I know that God is in charge.  He knows me a lot better than I know me and can see afar off, when I can not.

On the other hand, I feel slothful because I cannot do everything for everyone as I have always done in my life.  In the beginning I fought against this sense of inertia, but now have come to accept it as a result of my chronic health conditions.  I try to see the inertia more as respite from a life wherein I gloried in burning the candle at both ends until I ran out of both wick and wax.

I can no longer do great things, but I can do small things with great love, beginning with my family.  (Mother Theresa)

I know that I have a Father in Heaven who loves me and wants the best for me and of me. I know that Jesus is the Christ, the Messiah, the Anointed One; that He is my Savior and Redeemer; that He took upon Himself my sins and also my sorrows.  I know the third member of the Godhead, the Holy Spirit, because I have felt His influence in my life.  

I pray to the Father, in the name of the Son, and seek to live worthy of the Spirit to receive answers to my prayers; to discern between my thoughts and God's. I pray that I might grow to glory in these thorns in my flesh.  God has said that He gives unto men their weaknesses so that they will humble themselves before Him, which allows Him to make weak things strong. (Ether 12: 27)

I am weak, God.  Help me endure with the strength of conviction and testimony, and with unfeigned and unconditional love.

In the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.


© December 23, 2019, Kathleen Rawlings Buntin Danielson